How to Make Progress by Seeing Rejection as an Opportunity

I’ll never forget one of the most painful experiences of my writing life.

I was a college freelance writer working on a profile piece of a university donor. I didn’t research much beforehand and realized during the interview that he had climbed the ladder to CEO of a major oil company. (Major journalism no-no, by the way.)

Nonetheless, I pounded out an article I thought worthy of publication after my messer-than-should-have-been interview.

My editor asked me to review it with her in her office a few days later. I expected an encouraging assessment.

And you guessed it, I walked out with a red-soaked page.

I fought tears from her office to the bus stop. After a few days, I wrapped up her edits but then disappeared. I vowed on that fateful day to never write for them or anyone again.

I was 20. So I’m going to offer grace to myself for that. And obviously, I didn’t keep that vow.

But years later, I wish I had known a key lesson all of my writing classes did not teach me: to get comfortable with rejection. Every writer walks out with a red-soaked page. And, if I use it right, rejection can make me better. 

I wish I knew life coach Brooke Castillo’s model to reframe negative circumstances and thoughts. Here’s how I handled the situation:

Circumstance: The editor ripped apart my work. Plus, I didn’t prepare well for the interview and showed myself as an amateur to this executive.
Thought: I’m not a journalist and definitely not a writer. I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.
Feeling: Discouragement. Failure.
Action: Procrastinate to finish the edits. Vow to never write again.
Result: Halt all progress, think less of my skills, and not further improve my writing.

Now, here’s how I wish I had handled it:

Circumstance: The editor ripped apart my work. Plus, I didn’t prepare well for the interview and showed myself as an amateur to this executive.
Thought: Every writer feels the sting of a red-soaked page. This is the process. It doesn’t mean I’m not supposed to be a writer. This is the job of a writer!
Feeling: Challenged. Encouraged. Excited.
Action: Finish work and ask for more feedback if given the opportunity to write again.
Result: Who knows! I could’ve received more articles to write or made stronger professional connections. But above all else, I would have gained a healthier mindset and stronger perseverance about my writing.

Replacing these thoughts requires intentionality and a deep belief that God loves you no matter your performance.

So the next time you feel the blunt punch to the gut of rejection, do these three things:

• Feel the emotion of it. It’s OK to cry or swear to never write again.
• Lean into it. What thoughts are you thinking? What better ones can you replace them with? Use Brooke’s model above!
• Learn from it. How does this rejection hone your voice? How does it help you know your reader more?

Seeing rejection not as a personal attack on you, but instead as valuable information will mold you into the powerhouse, Jesus-loving writer you want to be.